Thursday, February 17, 2011

Prank skank

Senior Prank
There was no way I was leaving high school without making my mark in some significant way. My original idea was to acquire a shitload of condoms and tape them all over the school. That way I couldn't get in trouble for anything because I was "promoting safe behaviors". This was until I figured out how expensive condoms actually are. There went that idea.

What I actually did was write a fake letter. My friend's mom gave me the idea. It was genius.

I pranked a guy who I had a giant crush on for years. He's delicious to look at and pretty smart, but our social ideals totally clash and he's really Catholic, and well, I'm not. I'd seen him get agitated a few times so I knew that he was the type of person to react first and think later. He was also really popular (NHS president and captain of the football team) and everybody knew him.

The letter (I spent an hour trying to get a good copy the school letterhead so it looked legit) said something along these lines: We know you're a good student, but unfortunately you are 1/2 a technology credit short of your graduation requirements. To fix this you can either A) take night classes or B) enroll in summer school. It was signed by me in the name of a guidance counselor that I completely made up. The second page of the letter was the information enrollment form that he was supposed to 'fill out and sign'. The body of the second form had a place to fill in his name with something like: "I _______, the undersigned, have been totally and completely duped by this awesome prank."

I was pretty sure that he'd read the letter, flip out, and then give the second page a once over and not really read it. I was right.

My friend Antlers was a guidance aide and offered to do the letter delivering for me. I was safely tucked away in AP Biology. Antlers told me that she stayed behind to watch through the door window and that JM threw a fit in the classroom. What he did next I wasn't really expecting.

When the bell rang to end 1st period he stomped his way down to the guidance office and proceeded to make a complete ass of himself in front of all the guidance counselors. He flipped a total shit and was dropping bleep bombs all over the place. Eventually, Antlers (she took pity on his poor soul) told him to read the second page. He did, and then got pissed all over again. Now he was not only steamed at having been pranked, but he was probably pretty embarrassed for making such a scene. Total win.

I popped into the guidance office right after this had gone down to get some eye witness accounts of the action. One of the GCs read the fake letter and told me that it was so legit even she had thought it was real. Double win. Everyone was amused (except JM). The coolest part was that the old high school rumor mill turned in my favor for once, and everyone found out about it. Even JM, who eventually discovered that I was the cause of his 'failure to graduate' letter, admitted that it was a good prank. Let's reiterate: I am a genius.

The other prank that I'm really proud of was in retaliation to a prank played on me. My friend's brother Scottald had one night lubed up my car door handles and Antlers' windshield wipers. We vowed to get him back. I got the chance to housesit for Scottald's family while they were on vacation and of course I'm going to take advantage of it. Antlers had to work but she was supportive anyway.

It took me nearly 8 hours and $30 in post-it notes and pom poms, but my revenge was complete.





Scottald, being your typical teenage boy, is so lazy that he just left all the post-its on the walls because it was too much work to take them down. This was over two years ago and there are still a significant number of paper squares covering his walls. 

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