Blast from the past: 2005

When I was 15 I started a livejournal. In my current state of severe procrastination I decided to go back through and look at some of them. I guess I've been a bit ridiculous for a while, but jesus I used to type like I was on spastic drugs half the time. I blame the damn hormones. All of these excerpts are literally cut and pasted. Enjoy vicariously living my 15-year-old life. (Also, it's a bit sad that my 15 year old typing is about equivalent to modern day drunk typing). 


17th February 2005
reason why sonnets suck:
1)nobody cares about the damn sonnets.
2)nobody wants to write the damn sonnets
3)peotry does not have to rhyme, no matter what they say.
4)they just suck
5)shakespeare was a loser so nobody cares what he thinks anyway
6)shakespeare wrote them
7)everybody hates them
8)the guy wore ruffles for god sakes. need i say more?
9)they arent written in proper american
10)when am i going to use a sonnet in later life? huh? yeah! answer that one buddy.



chicklets. sounds like "chicken chocolate" weird huh?


20th February 2005
yeah, and then when we finally got home my mom decided to change our answering machine. first she was like: hi! youve reached the deans, we cant come to the phone right now so leave a message or a number and we'll get back to you soon. bye! and then i was like, mom that it soo cliche and non original. and she was like well can you think of something else? and i was like well no, but your not incapable. so then she goes, oh oh i got it. and it sounded like this. : yo......this is the house.....were not here right now...so like, leave a message after the tony thing. she said this while sounding totally drunk/high/waynes worldish. i was like, omg mother. the people are gonna think were having like a keg party or something cause you just sounded soo drunkenly stupid its not even funny. see? my family is soo weird.


now for my annual list.
why my parents are weirdos.
1)my mom thinks my lanyard is a bus safety hazard.( and she thinks its 'butch')
2)my parents stole the chain off my wallet. (too bad they dont know about my spares...)
3)they think dishes should be done every day, regardless if the sink is only a quarter full
4)they once thought i was having sex over the internet when they found me on the computer, imming my guy friends
5)i happen to like privacy so they accuse me of doing drugs when i lock my door. (the real reason is that my brother thinks its funny to bang open the door while im getting dressed.)
6)it took them almost 15 years to get me a cell phone. (oh, and i had to endure being locked out of the school at night to get one)
7)when i was looking really guyish one day, my father told me that "if you want to be that guyish, there are operations to fix that!" (i was really insulted!!)
8)my mom and her answering machine antics as stated above
9)my dad keeps twinkies, ho-hos and other snacks hidden in his truck, though he denies it.
10)they blocked mtv and mtv2 off our tv because they think ill get brainwashed or something.
11) when i got straight a's my mom said, "im so proud of you honey." to which i replied, that is soo cliche mom. (why dont they just hand over the cash now??)
12)half the stuff i say to mom just goes in her head and locks itself from the inside of a closet of her head
13)they've threatened me with a shrink
14)the always seem to show off the worst school pictures to everybody
15)they wont let me go to the mall with a group of friends without an adult. (yeah, and me the one who walked around dublin with a group of friends for 3 hours cant handle a mall)
16)my mom is paranoid. (there seems to be a serial killer/rapist everywhere we go.)
17)my dad has an old ozzy osbourne tape in his dresser drawer
18)my mom was an old mill cheerleader. (need i say more?)
19)my mom sells mary kay ( a massive waste of time and effort in my opinion)
20)they still make me eat my veggies. (most likely they're still hoping that i will 'grow' into the taste. well now, ive only hated vegetables all my life!)
21)they wont let me get unedited cds. (like their spously arguments are any better)
22)my mom confiscated my 'The Darkness' t-shirt because she said that as far as she is concerned, darkness means the devil and the devil is bad. (basically they accused me of worshipping satan. sigh.)
23)my dad took away my ball necklace because he 'didn't like it'
24)my dad took away my dull pocket knife because he said i would hurt myself
25)they get mad at me when i laugh at them for being stupid. which is most of the time.
26)they still wont let me watch R rated movies.
27) my mom wants to put me in a catholic school to get "a better education" (we dont even go to church!)
28)my mom goes nuts when i go to a dance or something. i think she thinks that shes going and not me cause i happen to not like globs of makeup on my face.
29)everything i get interested in my parents just come rambling in and decide to do it to. (my mom is now coleader of my gs troop and dad just gets into the whole guard thing.
30)becuse i influence them


28th February 2005

Our answering machine sounds like this:

You've got it!....you've reached the house....but...we're not here!....leave a message and we'll get back to you...Later Dude!!!!!.

my mom is a sick, sick individual.

28th March 2005

yeah, just got back from west virginia. it sucked. i was sooo damn bored! when we got up there, it was just us and grandma and grandad. we went and got chinease. (that part was okay) when we got back, i was bored again. went to bed on the couch. couldnt sleep cause moms nose was stuffy and she snored really really loud. she sounded like she had a boulder up her nose. for easter, i got, and listen to this: a yo-yo, a book for teens about 'god and me', a note passing notebook, joe boxer pj(these were cool, there comfy) and a bunch of candy. i almost cried when i saw the yo-yo. i was thinking, does my mom even pay attention to anything i do or say? cause i do not like yo-yos. nor have i ever passed notes. nor do i like church and im not religious. so that sucked. the only good things i got was the incredibles, jolly ranchers, and the pjs. then, we drove 4 hours back home to go to grammys house to visit with my aunt and uncle who were staying for the weekend. then grammy goes into her closet and brings out a bag and hands it to me. it was a DS!!!! i was soo thrilled! i had told her i wanted to go shopping for easter and she got me this too! i gave her a hug and i was happy.

ps. burnt my science project. at least i dont have to eat it.

7th April 2005

yesterday sucked. while playing flickerball in weight-training, i got beat up.....by the god damn football. coach marc was like, girls get 2 points if they score, so of course i was sent to the inzone(endzone?) and then this guy throws the ball from really far away and it bounces, yes bounces like 5 feet in front of me, and then it hits me in the nose. i didnt know that much blood was in my nose. by the time i got to the pe office i had blood dripping down my arms, all over my face, all over my hands and blood stains on my gym shirt. i got all cleaned up and we went back outside, but i didnt have to play anymore. 

15th June 2005

had govt and weight training finals today. govt i could have done in my sleep. weight training too due to the fact that we had the test packet, a 'help packet' and stupid questions like :what is your favorite class? A. weight training B. weight training C. weight training or D. all of the above. then the essay was what did you like about weight training. he told us we could put "coach mark is an asshole" as long as we spelled 'asshole' right and he would accept that and give us full credit. god i love love love school.

22nd June 2005

yup, ive had speghettios for breakfast for 3 days in a row now. got my phone back. (extatic) am walking 50 feet to carlys house for a cookout today with the dulmaines and my family. i have to cook enougn mac and cheese for 18 people. thats what? 5 boxes of blue box? oh well. ill figure it out later.

28th June 2005

yesterday i had turkey burgers for breakfast. i was getting the ketchup out of the fridge and i dropped it. (it was one of the huge plastic bottles) and it exploded all over the kitchen. on the walls, the floor, the rug, and the fridge. i was like SHIT! it came off everything (except the rug.) but mom doesnt know. but the bottle was destroyed so i had to pur the remaining ketchup into an empty deer park bottle to salvage it. 

3rd July 2005

Lizzy: .....yeah and then they were like, lets go and erection up the dead.
sam: erection???? don't you mean reserection?

oh, and we played raquet ball. that is the bestest game ever. even though we don't play the game we just hit the ball around. toward the end, me and carly were sitting down and it was just lizzy and lane playing, lizzy whacks the ball right into lanes boob! lane looked shocked for a second and then she stumbled over to us and fell over on the ground going: my Boob!

Lizzy: oh my god lane! im so sorry! are you okay?
Lane: my boob!
Lizzy: well you still have one left
Lane: but i like both of them
Lizzy: I can buy you a new one
Lane: no thanks

this is while me and carly are rolling on the floor laughing.

we also went shopping. we passed one maternity store and one of us was like: wouldnt it be cool if we went inside to shop for imaginary babies? so Lane had Little Mikey, Carly had Roxanne, Lizzy had Cousin Ray-Ray and i had Chime-Changa. (lizzy named it)

4th July 2005

Then i cleaned out my clothes in my closet because i was running low on hangers. i found this really really ugly 'dress' that my mom bought for me at burlington coat factory. it is the most grusome thing i had ever laid eyes on. it is navy blue, long sleeves, and had little sparkly things sewn into it. it also only comes down to mid-thigh and it is shapeless. plus, it has SHOULDER PADS!!!!! i am very afraid of shoulder pads. they scare me. and they make my shoulders look even squarier than they already are. why did i have to get the MAN SHOULDERS in the family???!!! needless to say, if mom puts it back in my closet, fireworks arent the only thing that will be lit up tonight.

did i mention in my last post that on the last night of our trip, we stuffed gummy bears up our noses and all in our mouths and i took pictures? well, yeah, it was fun.

5th July 2005

i hate my computer. it has to be the biggest hunk of junk in the entire universe. it just literally beat me 35 times in a row at medium spider solitaire. then, i finally won. ......but i still hate the computer.

visited mama doris (my great-grandma) in the hospital today. she broke her hip. she gets her own personal tv and everything. plus she had a major HOT PHYSICAL THERAPIST! he stopped by to say hi. it was way nice.

i wrote the following on a post it: 20G, 5,000 songs, free lazer engraving, free shipping, $299. and stuck it on the parents bathroom mirror. dad was like, if you really want an ipod, i can have you a shuffle by tomarrow. i was like umno. i want a REAL ipod. not a downgraded imitation of a REAL ipod. dad was like, i never really said that i would get you an ipod. (he did) and if i did say that, then i was reffering to the ipod shuffle. well you didnt specify dipstick, so i get the one i want. then mom says that we really dont have a spare $300 and if they bought me something that expensive then they would have to get danny something too. and she said that they cant go giving me expensive gifts every time i get straight a's. me: seriously, danny didnt even get all above average or whatever it is. that is totally not fair. then mom said something along the lines of: you have to pay for half of it. NEWSFLASH: i do not have a job. all i can really do is babysit all summer. and if i did happen to aquire a job, my parents would make me quit or something because i am now their live in babysitter 5 or 6 days a week. I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!! my brother is a little monster on ritalin! i think he purposely doesnt take his ADD meds to spite me or something. plus, i found my pocketknife under HIS BED! what a freak! i hate my brother. most of the time. enough ranting. im going to go read or something. *sigh*

I'm having a bit of trouble with the format, but I promise the rest of 2005 will be up soon.