2/4 10:24pm: FREE SCOTCH! IT IS SO WARM IN HERE
2/4 10:25pm: YOU WIN777777
2/4 10:32pm: I DONKEY PUNCHED JELLY KOE. IM IN NY NO PAUNCH HERE YO. HAVE FUN.
From Soxhat:
2/5 1:30am: All I hear from you is blahblahblah pangolin
The following were all received while I was in the movie theater watching I am Number Four on 2/18:
Sketch: 11:33pm: WINE
Scruff: 11:34pm: Dear samantha, this is your drunk text. Our wine tasting has devolved somewhat but we are eating goat cheese and crumpets. Impressed? You should be.
Sushi: 12:28am: im drunkkkkkkkk
Scruff: 12:29am: It may also be relevant that i am drunk. Also liz says hello again, and that she hopes you enjoyed j biebs in three dee.
From Mom:
3/5: Ok. Taiping it
(proof of her spelling fails)
From Sarah
2/19, (on stalking her boyf) 10:27pm: i am def video chatting w him and just informed him that you are currently stalking him
3/7: katy perry is destroying america
3/7: hah yes i watched the 'hot gay guy' version. i still blame katy perry.
3/9: we are so getting fired when we gets back
3/16: that is degrading to turkeys
3/18: you should start writing childrens books
3/18 Me: I would only target it to badass children
From Giraffes:
3/9: We're talking about electrons as billiard balls hitting each other and i can't help but think about my eggs rolling around and smacking into one another.
3/12 11:53pm: Drunk atext durnk text ajtrik texgt
3/13 12:01am:Thats yyyyyyyyy nale they call me jane noooo thays not my bame!!!!
From Scruff (on my really drunk voicemail I left him)
3/13 Thank you, by the way, for that fantastic voice mail.
From Wahwuh:
3/17 11:54am: ahhhhhhhhhhhh alarm clock faaaaaaailllll im in my BED!!! fuck ill be there soon (foreal this time lol no more "5 more minutes")
3/18 12:12am: thanks for the punch and shotttttt (nomonomnomnommmmmm)
12:23am: drunk text for sammmmmm hh:::: the advantagoues aardvark likes fucksicles and some socks
From Captain Longballs
3/18 1:55am: We found a male asian version of you
From Scruff:
3/18 1:58am: At this point you probably don't care, but jen confirms that women with dark skin still have nipple color change during pregnancy.
3/19
Me: the next animal you draw on my wall should be a Vadger
Sketch: Vagina + badger?
Sketch: Badgina?
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